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Post by Lt Cmdr Alexander Sharpe on Nov 15, 2017 10:26:22 GMT -5
*Alex is sitting on his couch wearing a light brown leather jacket, white t-shirt, a pair of jeans and leather shoes*
Personal log, Stardate 95828.74
It's been weeks since Diman died and I to my shame took up heavy drinking and haven't been acting as a proper Starfleet officer. *light chuckle* It even became bad enough I asked to leave the bridge when I heard that these...I don't know I only one name and that is Ashala...I just got too angry and asked to leave, went to my room and here I am now... But it's not all bad things, Alizee came by and tried to be the ships counselor and I've been messaging back and forth with Val I will actually try to stop my current behaviour, maybe even be a better person against ensign Proy and Cranham....Well maybe not Cranham..
End log.
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Post by Lt Cmdr Alexander Sharpe on Nov 17, 2017 20:25:19 GMT -5
*Alex sits yet again on his couch, but this time wearing no shirt and pajama bottoms. On the background Val's voice can be heard, but not loud enough to be intelligible*
Personal log, Stardate 95841.19
I've been sober for almost a week now and I took the time I previously wasted on drinking and used the time to think about where I want to go in my life. I will try my best to become a captain. *chuckles* A long time ago I once told Diman that I had no aspiration to become a captain and just let life take me to wherever within Starfleet, yet now I am stating a goal for myself to become captain. But no matter what happens I will always keep in mind what my grandfather said....D'ainneoin ár dtuirse leanfam an tslí....Despite our weariness we will follow the road...meaning we know bad things can happen along the journey of our life, yet we will continue on do what we must to be our self. Oh yeah...also as a reminder next stop we make that has a tattoo parlor I will finally ink the Gigantes on my arm along the USS Kirk and USS Seven Provinces. Now the Seven Provinces was a sight to behold, but that's a tale for another day.
End log.
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Post by Lt Cmdr Alexander Sharpe on Nov 23, 2017 7:23:03 GMT -5
*Alex sits on a chair with now a 6 week old Beagle pup on his lap*
Personal log, Stardate 95852.85
It's been a few days since Apollo here joined our crew on the Gigantes, I swear this dog, my new best friend will be even greater than captain Archer's dog during the start of Starfleet. *Apollo barks* What a guy...its almost like her understands what we are saying. *scratches Apollo's head* And my problem....I think its finally going away...not getting moody as much as before can control my anger better again and...well...feeling better in general, sure I'll still drink Romulan ale but not unless its a party. .... .... Apollo sit.........No not belly rub..sit! *Apollo sits and gets a reward* Good boy...Oh yeah damn...End log.
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Post by Lt Cmdr Alexander Sharpe on Dec 2, 2017 7:26:48 GMT -5
Personal log, Stardate 95875.87
<Alex finally back in his own quarters after the battle the Gigantes had few days prior>
I finally managed to escape the sickbay after my concusion and..for some reason the cold... Heh..I still don't understand how I got the cold in the first place since it has been pretty much cured, yet here I am....In a sealed can drifting through space exploring and getting a damn cold. <Apollo jumps on Alex's lap as he sat down> I also missed you Apollo, my thanks go to Val....damn I love that woman. She makes sure I'm not like Icarus, that I won't fly to close to the sun or in my case....cockiness. Also I'm now back in duty so can't wait for the next weird phenomena to knock me out as I'm flying the ship through some of the tougher evasive maneuvers I have done since I served on the Kirk.
End log.
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Post by Lt Cmdr Alexander Sharpe on Dec 13, 2017 18:00:38 GMT -5
Personal log. Stardate 95904.23
I've been with Valerie for over a month and I've been debating with myself if I should ask her to come live with me in my quarters....My mind says no it's way too early to even think about those things, but my heart says that she is the one. I wonder what went through her head when she told me about her losing a baby and being left by her previous partner because of the loss...she told me that within the first few weeks of our relationship, while most people are either too ashamed or too scared to tell their partner even if they have been together for years. I just got to say it again...I admire that woman, even if she is French. *Alex chuckled for a moment*
I've also been wondering if I should introduce my Irish pub program to the rest of the crew, you know have some lively area for some social gatherings without the same old, boring look of Ten Forward. I know Diman would have loved it, but then again he wasn't your average Starfleet officer. Going back to what I was talking about. I have this feeling that if ensign Proy were to stop gaming and go there he would experience more fun with the people he has to share the ship with. Hell maybe even commander Allen or the captain would come by, have some fun with us and to my feeling make a huge step at getting our full...trust? No..not trust I trust them with my life, maybe friendship? I know that the captain should have a distance between her and us the crew, but from experience if a captain makes more of an effort in fraternizing with the crew than the crew are more likely to go all the way for him or her. I know that I would be more likely to go through hell and back if I knew that the captain would wait for me or even help me out of friendship than because of duty. *sighs* Duty... I should finish reading these reports and give some of my pilots some bollocking for not earning their cockiness yet.
End log.
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Post by Lt Cmdr Alexander Sharpe on Dec 24, 2017 19:24:43 GMT -5
Personal log, Stardate 95931.93
It just became Christmas and here I am with the present for Val on my table, Apollo in his basket and me talking to some computer. Due to us being at the citadel I will get to contact my parents and my sister, last I heard from them I became an uncle to a niece, now I'm an uncle with no present for his niece... Thinking about it I should give her an personalised audio-book with the recording of my voiced Apollo's enthusiastic barking. It would be nice if I were able to go...home for christmas, but if I am being honest I'd rather be nowhere else but here on the ship. *Alex yawns* I should end the log here catch some sleep and go on a run later. End log
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Post by Lt Cmdr Alexander Sharpe on Jan 16, 2018 10:26:10 GMT -5
Personal log, Stardate 95987.67 I think?
I woke up about an hour ago from this weird dream I died in...pretty much all the senior officers were there and Jacob.... It was weird...we were in some world in the early victorian era of Earth, not only that but ensign Kieres was a princes....Making me think that somehow me and the others entered her dream....like last week with the captain.... Let it be known that if I enter someone else dream again I will kill him or her even if it was unintended or not. Well maybe not if it were Apollo's dream. I haven't checked out if the rest are awake or not, but I won't bother them with a dream. Even one so weird as that one. Also I can't stop thinking about the Irish colonies in that dream...I was leading a nation aiming to rebel, I don't know if I was a rebel or not, but me personally most likely would rebel for a free thinking democracy. I don't know....end log.
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Post by Lt Cmdr Alexander Sharpe on Jan 31, 2018 12:01:42 GMT -5
*Alex having just returned from the bridge after the events on the Gigantes that occurred just hours before hand. Alex sits in his room talking to the computer and his puppy Apollo*
Stardate 96022.52, I think
Where to begin? How about from the start? Well the captain and commander Allen were with an away team out on the planet. I was just sitting behind the conn with Lieutenant Araxeia as the CO, till suddenly we began to experience some kind of weird disturbance with the sensors, despite Ottler's best efforts the disturbance kept getting stronger. It turns out the disturbance most likely came from this approaching ship... Since I couldn't identify the vessel I recommended Araxeia that we go to yellow alert just to be sure and she agreed, after our attempts to communicate failed I said to Araxeia that we should go to red alert she agreed again and we ended up fighting the ship. Thanks to my flying we barely got any damage, however the ship did manage to send in a boarding party. We fought back ofcourse and for some reason I managed to take out two of the three guys, with help from Jacob with one. But unfortunately Araxeia became unconscious, so the captains chair fell to me.... Yeah I know Apollo I was captaining this ship for a bit till we managed to beam the captain up with the rest of her away team. *Alex sighs* You know? Sitting on that chair didn't do anything for me, but confirm I can take the responsibility.
End log.
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Post by Lt Cmdr Alexander Sharpe on May 19, 2018 10:30:37 GMT -5
Stardate 95367.09.
Me and Jacob have found his brother sitting inside some shady bar on the planet Evena, he was sitting in a booth with this man named Will. Having talked with Thomas I came to realise that the pain he is experiencing from losing Sara and...Alex have left a stain on his mind making him mistrust the Federation. I suspect that Will is some kind of anti-federation supporter trying to bring in recruits to his cause....He certainly got angry with me managing to pull Thomas away so he could think somewhere less hostile. I can't help but think what that Will was or is trying to do, sparking anti-federation emotions, his behaviour suggests he is humanity first and he almost denies that other species are facing the same hardships as us humans.
I also just wonder why there is this growing mistrust for the Federation and Starfleet, the anti-federation people are claiming that within the Federation is crumbling, while they are the ones spreading the mistrust and hatred for it, especially the ones who are also turning to a more...anti-alien viewpoint......But who am I to judge? After Diman died I was just angry, drinking everything away and blaming anything, anyone involved with the Dark. I still get angry when hearing Ashala's name while she revolted against her former overlords and joined our side. All it took for me to realise was Nine...She..she just awakened something within me after the discussion about the servant of dark situation a week back. Although I would still disagree with her, she did hold something true. What separates us from the dark is our compassion, we care, we help and we we do it without even realising it, some call it a weakness others a strength and I like to think myself belonging to the latter.. *Some voices are heard in the background and the log ends*
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Post by Lt Cmdr Alexander Sharpe on Sept 19, 2018 15:12:55 GMT -5
"Personal log, Stardate 96606.51"
Alex adjusted his seating
"Its been awhile that I look like a madman talking to himself, but today I can't help but feel to pick up my padd again and talk to it, record my thoughts." Alex sighed as he continued
"A lot has happened since last I spoke, we saved Cynna, Valerie adopted Cynna, had some bad times on the ship, some good times and then even worse bad times. Like last a few days ago, we responded to this distress call from a planet to find out an asteroid is heading its way, the asteroid being ofcourse way to big to simply destroy... But that isn't even the worst part... The asteroid had federation warp signatures, those of the jupiter class dreadnaughts none the less. Make things even worse a hostile ship appeared also reacting to the distress call and finding out about the warp signatures.... However we managed to persuade the ship to help us in a combined idea I had with Valerie. We used the ship's high speeds, close to the asteroid followed by fell timed tractor beam shots to re-align the course the asteroid takes so it won't hit the planet."
Alex takes a sip of his tea
"Now something unrelated. Its been one day since I broke up with Valerie and my quarters feel completely different, so i've redecorated it but still it feels weird.... The good kind weird, but weird none the less. Hell I'm surprised we lasted this long anyway, doesn't mean it still hurts that I broke up with her. The only good thing about it is that we can continue being friends we know enough embarrassing stuff about each other to part as good friends perhaps. And we're both proffesional, so work won't be a bad place. I even think we might actually have a better friendship then a relationship."
Alex feels up his face
"First order of business will probably be regrowing the beard, but make it more like seanathair (grandfather) Big yet respectably... But then again I have also been thinking of remodeling it more like the musketeers in the 20th and 21st centuries film and tv applications of it, that style also spoke to me....called to me even. After that I'll be actively looking again, don't get me wrong I will still feel around but in a less active and more passive way. So I'll be open to it, yet not seek out."
Alex's five minute warning goes off
"As if I'm being saved by the bell, I have to get ready for gamma shift, talk to myself later. End log."
After ending the log he tossed the padd on his desk, drank the final bit of earl grey tea and then headed out to warm the captain's seat during the shift.
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Post by Lt Cmdr Alexander Sharpe on May 30, 2019 19:57:15 GMT -5
-Alex sat on the sofa, padd laying on the coffee table in front of him as begins his log-
Personal log Stardate 96327.45
I just informed my family back on earth about Sophia’s pregnancy and Sophia is doing the same with her side right now. It feels good telling people, but I still have my doubts for the majority of the crew. Or is it maybe I don’t wanna outshine Commander Allen and doctor Kieres’ engagement? I simply don’t know, but it doesn’t matter much longer, if people have been paying attention to Sophia, they’ll have noticed her belly size has grown. I don’t know if I am both lucky and unlucky that Sophia is all the way down in the botanical bay…... I mean…. well…. Like I said earlier I don’t wanna outshine that engagement between the commander and doctor, so them not seeing Sophia so often kind of feels like a relief. They can remain in their own happy cloud, like I can stay in my happy cloud with Sophia. Come to think of it most of the people I work with on the bridge don’t know about the pregnancy or haven’t realised it yet. Ensigns Scarlett and Proy, commanders Allen, Karlsson and Araxeia and not to forget Doctor Kieres and Jacob. Well I think Jacob doesn’t know, his brother does….
Anyways for now the pregnancy still feels good, but mathair warned me and in extension Sophia about the problems and discomforts Sophia will face and that it is my solemn duty to make sure that she can face these problems. Seanathair said the same thing and is even more excited than both me and Sophia are combined about the pregnancy, last time I saw him like was when Bethany announced Allana. Fathair of course showed no joy in me being happy and still questions all choices I made…. especially the ones involving me choosing flight over medical and well not choosing to stay and follow his orders in the clinic. Bethany keeps telling me that fathair misses me everyday and wants to make things right between us, I refuse to believe till I see actions. I tried to bury the hatchet many times before, but he makes my idealism weary. -sighs- Perhaps I should take heed in seanathair’s teachings and keep following the road despite my weariness.
On a lighter subject…
I confronted Nine about her seeing me as an older brother, poor thing thought I was going to discourage her and told me that in her pre-borg life she had a brother, but couldn’t remember much, if anything at all about him. So, I think I did the right thing by telling her that I find only more fitting that I can see a younger Bethany in her and that…erhm…care for her as a sister. Told her she can come to me with any problem, big or small, meaning something to me or not. She seemed happy…not the usual kind she lets on being overly giddy, but genuine happiness. She showed restraint, yet now I couldn’t keep my figurative shield up and softened up. I should set up a meeting for Nine and Bethany, they’d like each other. And I am lucky that despite the distance between the LMC and earth that my child will have atleast one aunt to see every day.
Computer end log here before we’re turning this into some sappy ‘look at me and my perfect life struggles’.
-The computer stops recording just as Sophia finished her talk with the family. Sophia sat curled up against Alex on the sofa till a surprise attack was launched by Apollo, the bane of the scooby snacks. -
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Post by Lt Cmdr Alexander Sharpe on Dec 22, 2019 0:01:32 GMT -5
Alex cradles his three day old daughter as he tries to align himself just right with a camera he had set up mere moments before. Once he stood centre of the camera his gaze would shift to Zoë and stay there for the first few seconds of the recording.
"Computer start audio and visual log."
-Computer "Recording audio and visual"
A slight smile appeared on Alex's face as he began talking.
"Hello Zoë. in case you forgot I am your athair..... I know that sounds awful, but I will show you this warts and all. This will be the first vid of many that I'll make just for you, I'll most likely just prove or confirm to you what a fool I am. Jokes aside, i am making this so you can see the beauty of the galaxy, hear the dashing struggles I have to witness together with your mathair, but most importantly I will tell you what I feel, think, know and hope of you."
Alex yet again stared at the little human in his arms
"Right now you've shown that you are a real Sharpe baby. You came into this galaxy like a force unreckoned, kicking and screaming like no other before you. And like a true Sharpe child you haven't cried at all since then, you stared at everything and everyone with those beautiful, big, bright blue eyes. You have your mathair's eyes and I can feel you will have her kindness, her smarts and her passion for doing. I almost envy you, those are the traits that I would've liked to have. I will however settle with the thoughts of you growing up treading in mine and your mathairs footsteps of joining Starfleet and doing better than I ever could, makes me happier than I imagined. Hell I don't care if you join Starfleet, just the thought of you doing better than me or especially your mathair makes me feel more proud than it should. That should tie in with the hope for you part, otherwise I can always say that I hope good fortunes upon you."
Zoë seems to try and grab Alex's nose
"There is one thing I don't get. Zoë why do you try to grab my nose? You held your mathair's finger and played with her hair as I would.....Maybe you can tell me this now, afterall you'll be sixteen by the time you get this. I will stop this for now... Farewell Zoë, till the next message I made for you."
The recording ends there and Alex goes to hold the child infront of him, making sure to get face to face with the small being.
"That wasn't too bad was it?"
Zoë stared at him with her big, blue eyes and Alex stared back
"You hated it.... i can tell. Will you atleast respect for what i did? Am I an idiot for talking to you like this?"
Zoë finally managed to boop Alex's nose followed by the feeling up of the face
"Don't answer that, i am not ready to face the truth.
Alex grabbed Zoë's hand and kissed it gentle.
"I shouldn't hog you all for myself, so let's go to your mathair."
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Post by Lt Cmdr Alexander Sharpe on May 17, 2020 21:51:12 GMT -5
Personal log Stardate 97209.88
I am recording my thoughts once again because I have the time to do so, being down in a cave for I don’t know three…four weeks tends to do so.
However, I hope we will be back on our ship soon, we found the plant Vayra needs to heal and we have explored some of these tunnels. For now, there is one thing keeping me and the away team bound deeper in the cave system. Captain Razzor and Eve had been snatched right from under our noses while we were spelunking, soon after due to our determination to search and rescue the captain and Eve we found the Arachnids holding them. They started engaging us and we responded to the violence with violence… -Alex sighed deeply- It was in the heat of battle that Azacri tried once again to communicate with the spiders and it was at that moment, during my command, that I realised I could rely on her abilities. I ordered the away team to stand down…. And it was at that moment what kind of idiot I have been. Valerie told her Delta’s that she could “override” my command and ordered them to keep on attacking. Those actions could’ve had major consequences, it could’ve meant everyone getting captured, the captain and Eve getting executed or… who knows what?
To make matters worse commander Kieres filled with anger entered the fray just about when the Delta’s stood down after Valerie begrudgingly stood down herself.
It was a true shitshow, a shitshow with a spark of hope. The spiders will be putting the captain and Eve on trial for trespassing and whatnot. Or if the captain or Eve feel like it, they could ask for trial by combat to prove their innocence.
-there are a few seconds of silence-
Presuming all goes well and all of us have gotten to safety on the ship or at least back with Vayra and her people I will be at a personal crossroads. Will I or won’t I report of Val’s insubordination to my command. Valerie explained her reasoning to me, and I understand it, perhaps I once would’ve agreed with it, but not now. In turn I told Valerie what I thought about her acting, how strongly I disagree with her behaviour and finally I said that if the captain or commander Zhaixe were in my position that she would’ve obeyed their orders. As fitting with Valerie’s character, she agreed with the captain part without hesitation, she agreed to the commander part, but also stating that she would argue with the commander and does as ordered. The fact that she argues with the commander and then does as ordered proves how lax command has become on our ship. It needs to tighten again…not much but still enough that members of an away team don’t go against orders of the commanding officers at that time.
-Alex lit up a cigarette-
I know more than well enough that I have been as much to blame as that I have to complain.
-Puffs of smoke escape as Alex talked further –
Especially in the captain Desty days…. I am not a religious man, but god knows it wouldn’t be soon enough when she is finally gone from my life and the Gigantes’s life. There you go padd and whoever listens to this in the future, some useless information while I keep talking about the crossroads.
These crossroads I find myself at…I have been there before, many times, but to be here again so soon. The mission we had before our spelunking adventure, I was in a room with a few delta’s and security personnel. Tensions were spirited to say the least and I also gave the order to the delta’s to stand down to listen to the demands, to plant a seed of doubt. Callihan at that moment in his own way tried to “persuade” the security personnel and instead made things more tense. Without a second thought I filed an official report against him to Valerie and Zhaixe. Valerie said she would have the talk about insubordination with him. Funny how similar Valerie and Jacob are in behaviour… Also funny that now Valerie is on this side of the spectrum, that she is the one I am considering for an official report for the same reason I filed the report for Callihan.
The few differences now is, I considered Valerie a friend and supposedly Valerie has been here long enough to know how the chain of command works….
-Alex sighed as he butted out his cigarette-
I guess we will find out when the train has passed the crossroads and is at its next station.
Like I said earlier, hope we reach the station soon. I have two girls and a dog waiting for me to celebrate my birthday and resume normalish family life.
End log.
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Post by Lt Cmdr Alexander Sharpe on Jun 22, 2020 19:33:19 GMT -5
"Personal log Stardate 97302.9"
The Irishman looked at his final cigarettes, trying to decide whether or not light one up before continuing his log.
"We've had quite the exciting day.... Here we were counting the minutes, twiddling our thumbs and some even pacing around as Captain Razzor was..... Razzorfying? Her holding cel awaiting her execution.... Then to make the day perfect Spider City got attacked by these things called Omega's and they were led by Beta's. Ghastly things and good thing we responded wel and fast and showed the spiders we are willing to make our hands dirty to ensure the safety of a people we barely even know."
Alex did afterall light up a cigarette and calmly puffed along his log and thoughts.
"At the climax of the... the siege? The prison where the captain was being held at got attacked by, who the Captain later identified as mister K, as you might imagine this stirring some major among those who dealt with him before or heard about him. I ordered Valerie along with two delta's of her choosing to head back to the captain and ensure her safety. Go figure that mister K had to visit the captain....."
The Irishman held the cigarette between his lips as he used both his hands to slide his ever growing hair backwards. Alex kept talking despite the cigarette between his lips-
"To wrap this up further, the spider council has asked me to send the away team down the crevice, find a secret tunnel, seal the secret tunnel and above all else ensure that the Omega's and Beta's can't get used by dark space magic heebiejeebies.....or was it use thair dark magic heebiejeebies on some other creatures down there? Anyway stop something or someone from controlling someone or something... Close enough I think? I asked the council whether or not we could get our captain back, they allowed for her to join us on our mission and even better they are willing to give a pardon for her "deeds" if the mission is a success. I said one of the lamest things ever, and am now recording this before setting out to the crevice."
Alex finishes his cigarette and threw it away where possible.
"On a more serious note, I find it scary how prone to violence my fellow crewmembers are... One would think they don't remember what the academy taught them.... Or is it that the LMC changes people? Maybe both and maybe neither? I will cut it out for now. Hopefully we can finish the assignment within a day, wouldn't like to lie to the spider I told to stoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.... I blame my previous CAG for that one.... Still.... What a guy..... End log"
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Post by Lt Cmdr Alexander Sharpe on Nov 11, 2020 23:53:30 GMT -5
As fate would have it yet again the Irishman sat in his office brooding as he stared at a small pile of padds filled with reports. After what felt like an eternity, but was actually a couple of minutes Alex snapped out of his trance and pulled out his personal padd and began recording his log.
"Personal log Stardate 97657.48. It has been give or take a week since we dealt with another alternate dimension of our ship, I always had my troubles after our dealings with situations like that, be it through portal, others minds or the space magic that seems to be in the air within the LMC. This time my problem lays within the heart.....certain choices I've made both recent and old. Choices that i've made by either ignoring what my heart said and try to find a golden midway or downright snapping my heart's figurative neck by actively looking for the answer to break it."
Alex rubbed his face as he thought for a couple of seconds.
"To make a long story short about our dealings last week..... In the dimension we found ourselves in I was married to Dira Sea..... or more commonly known as pre-borgification Nine.... I atfirst tread carefully in the deepwaters of the situation I haven't even dared to dream, then, to my....."
Alex stared at his weddingring as he inhaled the air slowly finding the words he previously had in mind. He found his words and exhaled sharply as he replied, his tone angry or maybe disappointed at himself.
"Then to my shame I let myself drown in the situation. I didn't think about Sophia, nor my own daughter and I fully embraced my marriage to Dira. I embraced Dira whispered sweet nothings and kissed her..... I gave the damn oppertunity to my heart to form actual attachments to a moment in time and space I shouldn't have been in, I actually felt love for Dira and my heart was relieved knowing that Dira felt the same for me. Our marriage fit better together than Ottler with his gaming console, or a French person thinking they are better than the rest. I felt..... I still feel those feelings and they rival the feelings I have for Sophia."
Alex now spoke with a tone of sadness to his voice as he looked at a gift Nine once gave him.
"Because of those feelings I began to doubt, whether I made the right choice by marrying Sophia.... or more recently my choice to look for a different counselor as I can't, won't see Nine anymore. I need my space from her, try to forget the Dira side of her. Everytime I see Nine I can see Dira, hear her and at times feel her. I can only imagine the pain I am causing Nine, but I can also imagine the pain I am doing to Dira.... I think I have seen glimpses of Dira coming through Nine when we were doing activities together. I spoke to Dira after we sang, felt Dira as we talked and above all else saw Dira in Nine's eyes as she forgot Jacob. That idiot doesn't deserve her.... noone does, hence why I must try and let go of her. It would be unfair to Jacob or anyone else persuing a relationship with Nine during the moment she also begins to feel the same things. It is already unfair to Sophia..... Sophia, mo Grá. Forgive me for I don't know what to do. Forgive for forgetting you and allowing feelings of love for another woman fight the very same feelings for you. And finally Sophia, forgive me for the fact that i won't tell you any of this, not now.... I will do what I have always done, deal with it alone and get help if I can't go on further."
Alex stopped his log there and glanced around the office till his gaze stopped on a picture of him with his mentor.
"You were there when I first began to doubt what my heart said, you were there when I stopped comparing myself to admiral Archer with his faith of the heart. You were there when i loved a woman for the first time. You were the one to eventually get me through without even knowing that the feelings at the time were for your daughter. Please help me liek you did before, help me remember the lessons you taught me."
Alex stands up and in a sudden act of emotions pulled the picture from the wall and threw it across the room, shattering the frame.
"Answer me! I need your fucking help now old man!"
Alex realised what he just did and bowed his head in shame as he picked up the broken picture frame.
"Meantóir..... I need you before I collapse."
The irishman sat down on the floor, near where he threw the picture frame at, his hea dstill down in shame as he recorded his final part of the log.
"Maybe I should talk with Nine about this.... Maybe I should also talk to Sophia about this.... I just fear the worst.... Zoë, I hope you won't have inherited this side of the Sharpe blood... we rely to much on our emotions when it comes to ourselves. Your Athair will try to stay strong for you and your mathair..... End log."
After a few minutes of silence as Alex brooding at the shards that layed on the floor Alex showed life again and began clearing up the mess he made, both in his office, his mind and above all else the mess he made within his heart.
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