Post by Doctor Jonas Bell on Jul 31, 2012 0:42:10 GMT -5
I'm not really sure what to say here. To be honest, I thought the whole idea of keeping a log was kind of silly.
I just need to talk about what has happened and it's become obvious that the writing letters for Ia is pointless since . . .
It's just not a great idea anymore.
*Long pause*
Anyways, where to begin?
The ship's counselor stopped by today – apparently worried that I'm depressed or something – and collapsed in my quarters. At first, I thought it was some ploy to get me to realize that going back to sickbay is the right decision and it's where I belong and blah blah blah. But instead it turns out that some alien was trying to say contact us. It provided the bridge crew with some kind of spatial anomaly to bait us in. Then it stole some officers with telepathic abilities and gave the others hallucinations. Then, after I spent an hour running every test I could to try and help the crew, it let us go on out way.
I hate this.
I hate this so much. If it hadn't just let us go, there would have been nothing I could have done. Everyone could have died and no trick of medical science would have helped. All I could do was watch, powerlessly, as the alien did what it wanted.
It's not even just this one time. . . I get that it's a big universe with big, powerful beings and stuff but . . .
The only time I seem to make a difference is for the worse.
The November.
The doctor died because of me. I looked him in the eyes as he died. . . that pained look right before the phaser just vaporized his chest. . . and Admiral Payne . . . I couldn't even . . .
*A long pause is followed by a shaky, but steadily rising voice*
Oh, and we can't forget that entire other universe. An entire universe had to be destroyed along with all the people in it. There was a slight exception of a few hundred we saved. But everyone else, no. No, they all had to die because they believed in a god that . . .
*Yelling, at this point*
And then after all of this that counselor shows up and says “oh, well your friends want you back”. Like that makes it all okay?! I can just keep on killing and getting people killed, but as long as people on the ship like me then it's hooray for me because, well, the counselor and a couple of crewmen say so.
Damn it, I knew this wouldn't help. End log.
I just need to talk about what has happened and it's become obvious that the writing letters for Ia is pointless since . . .
It's just not a great idea anymore.
*Long pause*
Anyways, where to begin?
The ship's counselor stopped by today – apparently worried that I'm depressed or something – and collapsed in my quarters. At first, I thought it was some ploy to get me to realize that going back to sickbay is the right decision and it's where I belong and blah blah blah. But instead it turns out that some alien was trying to say contact us. It provided the bridge crew with some kind of spatial anomaly to bait us in. Then it stole some officers with telepathic abilities and gave the others hallucinations. Then, after I spent an hour running every test I could to try and help the crew, it let us go on out way.
I hate this.
I hate this so much. If it hadn't just let us go, there would have been nothing I could have done. Everyone could have died and no trick of medical science would have helped. All I could do was watch, powerlessly, as the alien did what it wanted.
It's not even just this one time. . . I get that it's a big universe with big, powerful beings and stuff but . . .
The only time I seem to make a difference is for the worse.
The November.
The doctor died because of me. I looked him in the eyes as he died. . . that pained look right before the phaser just vaporized his chest. . . and Admiral Payne . . . I couldn't even . . .
*A long pause is followed by a shaky, but steadily rising voice*
Oh, and we can't forget that entire other universe. An entire universe had to be destroyed along with all the people in it. There was a slight exception of a few hundred we saved. But everyone else, no. No, they all had to die because they believed in a god that . . .
*Yelling, at this point*
And then after all of this that counselor shows up and says “oh, well your friends want you back”. Like that makes it all okay?! I can just keep on killing and getting people killed, but as long as people on the ship like me then it's hooray for me because, well, the counselor and a couple of crewmen say so.
Damn it, I knew this wouldn't help. End log.