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Post by Lialus Raithe on May 14, 2020 13:42:27 GMT -5
[Jarok Personal Log: Entry 1]
"Obedience brings victory and victory is life."
I have been taught this creed from the moment I could comprehend language; obedience to the Founders and their Vorta cohorts, obedience to those stationed above me; to my First and the Elders of the Jem'Hadar. Now I am writing my thoughts into a personal log because the Founder has commanded I do so. I inquired after the purpose of this exercise and the Founder, who has deigned I call him "Founder Odo," regaled me with a story about a Bajoran woman who had kept a personal log that helped him track down the truth of a decades old deceit during his tenure as the 'constable' of Terok Nor - Deep Space Nine; he spoke of it as if it were a recent memory but it seemed a lifetime ago to my mind.
The purpose of the personal log, he would proceed to explain to me, is to catalog my thoughts and record my growth in understanding for the purposes of future study. Whose study he would not specify and it is not my place to question further. Obedience does not require understanding.
I will do as instructed and maintain a personal log though I do not know what I am to put within. Perhaps that is something I will grow to understand.
For now, it is sufficient to say that my displeasure with my reassignment need not be vocalized, Founder Odo is perceptive and knew immediately that I was not overjoyed at my present assignment: Starfleet.
Much has changed in the Dominion during my lifetime and now I am being reassigned as an exchange officer with Starfleet aboard some vessel called the Sentinel. The purpose of this exercise eludes me but the Founder has commanded it and so I obey. Obedience does not require understanding.
We arrive at the starbase where the exchange will be finalized in six hours, there I will wait until I am transferred to the vessel.
Displeased though I may be, I will obey and I will fulfill my duty to the best of my capability as I always have and always will. Obedience brings victory and victory is life.
[End entry]
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Post by Lialus Raithe on May 18, 2020 6:56:57 GMT -5
[Jarok Personal Log: Entry 2]
"I am Lieutenant Junior Grade Jarok'Talon..."
A day of oddities and firsts. As I record this log I am sitting on a bed in a room I am sharing with a Human who is not my enemy. That statement alone is filled with oddities.
Today I learned that this station is sentient...or some impressive impersonation of it, calling itself Eirene, a remnant from a war of centuries ago whose creators, known as 'The Unity' and the 'T'Sillians' (sp?), are long extinct. To exist for centuries and to speak of your creators as distant memories...
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I have met much of the crew I will be serving beside, including the commanding officer, the executive officer, several members of the special forces, a science officer, a couple operations officers and a couple members of the engineering team which has been dubbed the 'Voodoo' squad. It is apparently some form of ancient mythological dark magic of Human origin and members of this squad have designated callsigns they refer to one another as; Oddjob, Sparks, Scrappy to name a few. One of the crew, a man who refers to himself as 'Preacher' designated me 'Spikes,' I doubt it will linger, none of the crew intend to get comfortable enough with my presence to use a familiar name. I consider this a good thing.
My commanding officer was visibly displeased with my assignment to her vessel. We have something in common. It is my duty to serve her as I would serve a Vorta or the Founders and I will fulfill my duty. My life is hers as it should be and I will either serve satisfactorily or die in the attempt. This is the way of things.
The executive officer is named Alice. She shares her commander's displeasure, at least in part. Though unspoken, my duty to her is the same as to my commanding officer.
The remainder of the crew seems largely anxious about my presence but attempting to cover it behind pleasant smiles and idle banter. A notable exception would be the Delta Decia, she is a warrior and there was a bearing to her unlike the others. Almost familiar. Perhaps an avenue to gaining understanding of how to interact with the others, as I have been commanded to do.
I begin duty in a few hours after reporting to a Human woman named 'Scrappy' who has made her extreme displeasure at my assignment known without uncertainty. I do not expect her to like me nor do I concern myself with it. I will do my duty and I will serve and honor my superiors. This is the way of things. This is my life. I am Jem'Hadar and I do this gladly.
[End entry]
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Post by Lialus Raithe on May 28, 2020 9:38:23 GMT -5
[Jarok Personal Log: Entry 3]
"As of this moment I am dead, I go into battle to reclaim my life. This I do gladly for I am Jem'Hadar."
Life is a battle. It is not just meeting in combat it is a never-ending struggle against all opponents, be they material or immaterial. I stand here in the uniform of the Federation, once my enemy and now my assignment. I cannot help but question the wisdom of the Founders putting me in this position. I listen and I learn but how much is the Federation learning about the Dominion through this exchange? Is this alliance permanent? How candid are we being with one another? Should I be ready at a moment's notice to go into battle against my current crewmates? I've been given no orders outside of service to the Federation as I would serve the Founders.
How can I? The Founders are my creators, they are my gods...the Federation is an entity, anathema to the Dominion for so long. Why now are we holding hands? I cannot fathom the wisdom of this exchange but that is why the Founders are the Founders and I am but a servant. Perhaps understanding will come in time. Perhaps I am never meant to understand. This is my duty. This is my life.
I stand before a mirror examining myself in the uniform of the Federation. Perhaps the day will come when this is my uniform, this is my ship and this is my squad. Perhaps this will not feel so foreign to me one day.
But that day is not today.
It will be some time before I have reclaimed my life. [End entry]
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Post by Lialus Raithe on Jun 4, 2020 6:26:34 GMT -5
[Jarok Personal Log: Entry 4]
"We're under attack, all hands to battle stations!"
There is honor in this crew and a loyalty to one another that I find intriguing. The Sentinel came under surprise attack today, sustaining severe damage to systems and hull within the first few moments of the battle. Scrappy, the chief Engineer, quickly began coordinating repairs and the Engineering team that moments ago was engaged in a battle simulation now became engaged in actual damage control and repair procedures. I spent the majority of the duty shift working alongside Scrappy.
I received a minor burn during an ODN junction bypass when the panel kept shorting out and an extremely heavy exposure to radiation, burns and shock during a main power relay hot switch to restore warp drive. Scrappy sustained the same injuries even though her body was not designed to sustain such injuries. There is admirable courage and dedication in her willingness to face death to save her ship and crew. She is a worthy commander. I would have honored her death; that she lives is testament to the skill and dedication of the ship's medical staff. This is foreign to me, the fight to save so many in the middle of a battle. It would seem inefficient but somehow it does not subtract from the crew's capability to respond to danger.
It seems the Founders were wise after all, there is much we can learn here. I will serve with distinction as is my duty.
[End entry]
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Post by Lialus Raithe on Jun 22, 2020 8:35:54 GMT -5
[Jarok Personal Log: Entry 5]
"Eat. Drink. Be Merry! For tonight we dine in Hell!"
We have been grounded following the attack while the ship undergoes extensive repairs and the crew recovers from the ordeal. I have spent much of my time observing others in various situations. I have observed how they interact with their young, which seems to remain remarkably uniform across various species, I have observed how they socialize during meal time and how food and drink seem to be a common foundation for all social gatherings either formal or informal - in fact it almost seems as if food and drink is used as a form of excuse to get together and socialize; I have observed them courting one another and the foolishness that goes along with it and I have observed how fluid the relationships are between duty and off-duty. Foreign concepts to me, all of them.
In an effort to better understand and associate with my crewmates, I have attempted to partake of food and drink hoping to understand what the attraction is. I started with something called 'milk' because it appeared to be similar to the White in appearance and consistency. It is a vastly inferior supplement, incapable of providing the sole nourishment and enzyme fortification of the White. I have yet to attempt to partake of solid sustenance, the idea of consuming something solid is off-putting, as if adding weight to myself. Still, perhaps it is something I should attempt for no other reason than not be awkwardly watching everyone else eat at gatherings.
[End entry]
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